Desire and Depth

2014 has been a wonderfully full year. I have sensed a move to a deeper awareness and experience of God in all things including God in me. This has also been accompanied by a greater awareness of my own fragility, weakness and phoniness. The ‘mirrors’ in my life have been the ‘others’ around me including my dear wife and boys.

We have had a wonderful year of travelling this year. My first snowboarding trip to Switzerland with Matt in February was very special. The Alps were the most incredible picture of beauty and love.
We met up with Norman and Sarah in Norfolk for Oskari’s dedication in April (and stayed in a wooden pod / ‘tent’). Nath caught his first fish. We got our first campervan and spent a few days in Cornwall in May. Nath and I spent a weekend in Wales on the river Usk fly-fishing; and Joey and I went to Legoland and camped nearby. The Kidz camp at Ipley was busy and colourful. The night hike in the forest was especially memorable. Our campervan trip to Brittany and Loire Valley in August was a special family time (most memorable was Judy hoola hooping at the travelling circus … Etched in my mind forever and bodyboarding at La Torche). In October, Nath and I went to Madrid. Probably one of the most exciting trips I’ve been on. Watched a bullfight and Real Madrid play Bilbao at the Bernabeu. Visited Del Prado museum and saw Velasquez’s paintings including the Triumph of Bacchus and Les Maninas.

Judy’s fantastic achievement of the year was completing her first ironman distance triathlon … The Forestman! The boys were very proud.

Judy and I spent a few sessions with a counsellor this year …. What a challenging yet wonderful time learning to communicate with one another (after 13 years of marriage). I would recommend this for everyone. Another mirror time.

2015 is approaching fast and my desire for this next year (as a continuation of 2014) is to go deeper into the mystery of God. 

I would like to draw aside more and more and spend time in solitude and silence. To draw aside from the craziness and business of this culture and life. 

I desire to embrace painting and art as a means to greater silence and awareness of the mystery that is me and this creation of wonder. 

I found this advice from Richard Rohr very helpful:

Contemplative practice: Contemplation is a “laboratory” in which you learn to die and to be reborn. The rest of your life becomes the field in which you live out this way of surrender and participation in Love. Commit to a daily practice of some kind–silent meditation, yoga, chanting, or maybe one of the “Rest” practices introduced in the Saturday meditations.
Sabbath: Set aside regular, longer periods of quiet or retreat, simply to rest in awareness of God’s presence. Find a rhythm of rest and work that allows for renewal so that you enter your active life from contemplative grounding.
Service: Allow the natural welling-up of love to flow outward in acts of justice, healing, and compassion. Life is not about you; you are about life!
Shadow work: The task of searching out and embracing shadow–the parts of yourself that you hide or ignore–is ongoing, the work of a lifetime. Let the people and circumstances that “push your buttons” be your teachers. Look for yourself with a loving gaze in the mirror of both your enemies and those who enthrall you.
Spiritual direction: If you do not have someone to guide you, to hold onto you during the times of not knowing, you will normally stay at your present level of growth. Seek out a sacred companion you can trust to be honest and present to your journey, who can reflect back to you God’s presence in your life and the world.